


False Security

by SleepySapphire



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Blade
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Assault, post blade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22856518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySapphire/pseuds/SleepySapphire
Summary: After being found passed out on the side of the road, Kenzaki gets taken in by a stranger who has nothing but good intentions. At least, that's what it seems at first.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	False Security

**Author's Note:**

> i have been thinking about this for SO long  
> i affectionately call this one "Kazuma-chan"

“Hey! Are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?” Kenzaki grimaced, slowly beginning to open his eyes as he felt himself being shaken. He felt sore all over; Why had he picked such a terrible place to sleep? No, wait… Kenzaki hadn’t gone to sleep that he knew off. He had been walking through some patch of forest until he noticed signs of a bear living nearby, then he decided to follow the nearest highway to avoid any potential unwanted run ins with nature. 

“Easy, easy.. Did you pass out? What are you doing all the way out here? You’re fifteen miles past Mutsu, you know…” Kenzaki felt himself eased up into a sitting position and he blinked his eyes open, head lowered as he glanced up. 

The light around them was dim from the setting sun, but he could still make out the face of a worried man. He looked to be in his thirties, with a pale face and shaggy black hair. 

“I…” Kenzaki felt dizzy. He closed his eyes, ignoring how his instincts were telling him he should wrap his hands around this man's neck and squeeze until the blood vessels in his eyes popped and the life was choked out of him. The instincts had grown much easier to ignore over the past few years; They were barely a whisper in the back of his head, even if constantly present. 

“Careful now, it was unusually hot today! Did you get heat stroke? Why don’t you hop in and I’ll take you back to my place…” Kenzaki found himself being lifted to his feet, one of his arms slung over the person's shoulder. He mumbled in response, his eyes opening for a moment to see them approach a truck, before things went dark again. He was vaguely aware of himself being laid out, but after that, there was nothing.

It was the sound of birds chirping that next woke Kenzaki. 

He blinked his eyes open, raising up a hand to rub the gunk free from the corners until he could probably see. The first thing he saw was a wooden ceiling overhead. 

Come to think of it, the bed he was laying in was rather comfortable; It was nothing like the beds of leaves or dirt he had taken to curling up on when he got too tired to walk. 

But why was he in a bed? 

Kenzaki slowly sat up, taking in the new, foreign surroundings.The bed was large, and across the room was a window that had been propped open. In Front of that was a desk lined with books, and papers strewn about. He stared, trying to recall where this was, but only drew up blanks. Then, there was a knock on the door and before he could answer, the door was opened.

He looked up to see a man standing there, and memories from the day before briefly filtered into his mind as the man approached the bed, a bowl and spoon in one hand. He smiled.

“Morning! How are you feeling? I was pretty worried, I almost thought about taking you to the hospital, but figured maybe you just needed some rest..” He set the bowl and spoon down, removing the lid to reveal the contents; Simple rice porridge. Steam billowed out, rising in small plooms before dissipating. Kenzaki stared at the bowl for a moment before he looked up to the stranger, unsure of what to say. The man smiled again and turned, moving to the other side of the room where he took a chair, only to drag it back to the bed and take a seat. 

“That’s for you. Figured you could use some food after laying in the road for who knows how long.” Kenzaki was starving. He swallowed and gave a small nod, shyly mumbling a thank you as he took up a bowl. The ceramic was… warm. He closed his eyes, enjoying the heat. 

Ever since his body had turned, Kenzaki had found it hard to be warm. Almost impossible, really. No matter what he did, he was always cold. 

Kenzaki ran his fingertips along the outside of the bowl for a few moments, just admiring the warmth, before he glanced over to the stranger.

“It’s not poisoned, promise.” The stranger leaned back and grinned, and Kenzaki felt his cheeks heat up and he gave a nod, dipping the spoon into the bowl so he could take a bite.

“I’m Nakamura by the way. Hajime Nakamura.” The porridge had barely made it into Kenzaki’s mouth before he spat it out in surprise. Nakamura, understandably shocked, jumped to his feet.

“Hey! If it’s too hot, you should blow on it, not spit it out.” Nakamura frowned.

“S-sorry! I’ll clean it up..” Kenzaki reached up and rubbed away the bits that had stuck to his mouth, about to set the bowl down before Nakamura held up a hand to stop him.

“I’ll get it, you should stay in bed.” Kenzaki bit his lower lip, about to worry a hole into it before he remembered it probably wouldn’t look very good if his lips suddenly gained a green mark on them out of nowhere. He forced himself to stop and looked down to the bowl.

“Sorry… You brought me home and made me food and I--” Nakamura interrupted him with a light laugh and shook his head, wiping up bits of stray rice from the floor and comforter with a tissue.

“Well, you’ve already slept in my bed, so what’s a little more dirt gonna do, huh? By the way, I didn’t catch your name…” Kenzaki’s head snapped up, and then he looked down to the bed he was in, eyes wide.

Seriously?!

Who brought a stranger home and put them in their bed? The bed they  _ slept _ in! Not to mention Kenzaki hadn’t properly bathed in the longest, so he couldn’t smell good in the slightest. And his clothes were filthy and torn…

Kenzaki dropped his head downwards, cheeks warm again as he tried to sort out his thoughts. Nakamura tossed the tissue away and clapped his hands clean, looking back over to Kenzaki.

“Well?”

“.. Kenzaki. Kazuma Kenzaki.” He stared down at the bowl of porridge, suddenly a lot more interested in keeping his attention on it versus having to acknowledge the fact that someone had gone to so much trouble for him. 

“Ah, so Kenzaki-kun, then. Nice to meet you.” Nakamura smiled again and then turned, exiting the bedroom. Kenzaki continued to stare at the food in front of him, hungry but without appetite.

When was the last time he had been called that…?

Kenzaki couldn’t remember the last time he had heard his name from another person. Actually, he couldn’t remember the last time he had properly spoken to another person…

Kenzaki filled the spoon up with more porridge and forced himself to eat, mindful of how long it could be until he next ate. When he was finished, he climbed out of the bed, glancing down to see smears of dirt and grass stains left behind on the clean white sheets. He flushed, embarrassed, but exited the room to bring the bowl to the kitchen. 

The house was small, as it turned out. 

When Kenzaki stepped out of the bedroom, he was greeted with a little hall, one side leading to a restroom and the other a bathroom. As he walked down the hall, it opened up into a living room area, and on the opposite side of that, an open kitchen. He spotted Nakamura sitting at the kitchen table, a mass of  _ genkouyoushi _ littered about the tabletop. 

Kenzaki slipped past him and set the bowl in the sink, casting a quick glance towards the table. The _ genkouyoushi _ were filled all filled with difficult characters and phrases Kenzaki was sure he wouldn’t be able to properly understand even if he had been good at reading kanji past a high school level.

Nakamura seemed to ignore him for a few moments, his pen strokes neat and in order as he worked diligently on whatever sentences he had been writing. Upon reaching a certain point he slowed to a stop, pen tapping lightly on the paper before he set it down. 

“Well, that’s the end of that.” He stretched, leaning back into his seat and then looked up to Kenzaki, who was watching the sheets curiously. 

“I’m a writer.” Nakamura explained, jabbing his thumb back into the living room where a bunch of books lined the shelves. Kenzaki gave a nod, his eyes following.

“Sometimes words come, sometimes they don’t.” Nakamura leaned forward, chin in one hand as he watched Kenzaki.

“I see…” Kenzaki trailed off, not really sure what else to say. That kind of creativity was beyond him. He turned, looking towards the little window that was directly across from the kitchen sink. They were surrounded by farmland, right on the outskirts of some woods. A small frown worked its way onto Kenzaki’s lips as he noticed the sun was beginning to set. 

Night time already? 

“It’s getting late, you should stay the night.” Nakamura began to gather the  _ genkouyoushi _ , arranging them in a pile. Kenzaki spun around to look at him again, frown still in place. 

“But--” 

“You  _ wanna _ get attacked by bears? Also, we’re nowhere even close to the nearest town.. It’s no problem for me if you stay again.” Nakamura looked up, his eyes meeting with Kenzaki’s. Kenzaki felt the protest dying before it had a chance to form as words. 

It.. would be nice to stay in doors, for once. 

Nakamura was approaching him, soft smile in place again. For some reason, Kenzaki found comfort in it. Perhaps it was because after seeing what he’s seen, and going through what he’s gone through, Kenzaki was thankful that people could smile. 

“Kenzaki-kun… not to be rude, but…” Kenzaki blinked, looking down to Nakamura. 

He wasn’t small, but he definitely wasn’t as tall as Kenzaki. 

“Huh?”

“You smell.” Kenzaki took a step back, feeling his cheeks burn as he looked away.

“I, uh…” He fumbled for words; Of course he smelled. 

Nakamura laughed and reached up, clapping him on the shoulder. Kenzaki tried not to flinch away, the contact not unwelcome but rather unexpected. 

When was the last time he had experienced physical contact from another person? 

“Why don’t I get a bath ready? You can borrow some clothes.” Kenzaki swallowed, feeling conflicted.

“That’s not really--” Necessary? 

“Uhhh, yeah? You don’t wanna get back in dirty clothes, do you?” Nakamura raised an eyebrow and then turned, heading towards the bathroom. Kenzaki stared after him, watching until he had turned into the hall before he lowered his head. 

Was this… okay? 

Was it really okay? 

Kenzaki slowly stepped forward, following after. Ten minutes later he was soaking in an old fashioned wooden tub, and warmer than he had been in possibly years. He closed his eyes, both arms wrapped around his legs as he sank downwards, waterline stopping right above his nose. 

So good… 

Kenzaki had forgotten he could feel this way. 

His entire body tingled, enveloped in the heat of the water. He was too big to stretch out fully, but he didn’t need to; This was pure bliss. 

Kenzaki was so lost in the moment he didn’t hear the gentle knock on the door. 

“Kenzaki-kun? Are you alright in there? It’s been a while.” The door pushed open before Kenzaki could react, and Nakamura peeked in.

“Kenzaki-kun? Ah, sorry! I guess I should have knocked again..” The door quickly shut, and Kenzaki found himself blushing yet again. It was fine, though. A mistake was a mistake.. And he was in Nakamura’s house, using his facilities for free… 

The rest of the bath went by without any interruptions. Kenzaki had soaked until the water had gone cool and his skin had wrinkled, but it had been so worth it and he felt  _ amazing _ . 

Kenzaki leaned forward, pulling the plug from the tub, and then stood. He turned to reach for a towel, when it suddenly occurred to him…

There wasn’t a towel.

Or clothes. 

Ah, hell.

Kenzaki looked up to the door, biting his lower lip. Well, they were both men…

He stepped out of the tub, careful not to slip on the sleek wooden floors of the bathroom as he made his way over to the door and gently slid it open just enough to peer out. 

“Nakamura-san…?” Kenzaki’s voice came out quiet, almost cautious, as though he wasn’t certain if he should really be talking or not. 

He wasn’t used to being in the same space as others. 

Kenzaki waited for a few seconds, cool air beginning to chill his warmed skin. He was about to try calling again, when he heard footsteps, and Nakamura appeared on the other side of the hall.

“Yeah? Did you need something, Kenzaki-kun?” He offered out a light smile, and Kenzaki nodded his head in a slight bow.

“Y-yeah, actually.. I was wondering, could I.. have a towel?” And clothes, but he didn’t want to go asking for too much. Kenzaki lowered his head, suddenly feeling anxious. 

Was it really okay for him to be taking advantage of all of this? 

“Oh! Shit, that’s right. Just a second.” Nakamura disappeared into his room, and Kenzaki gave a small nod in response. The other man returned shortly, a towel draped over one arm and a t-shirt and sweatshorts dangling over the other. Kenzaki raised his head slightly, reaching an arm through the opening of the door to take them as Nakamura handed them over. 

“Here ya’ go.” Upon receiving both, their fingers brushed past one another. 

“Thanks… um, Nakamura-san?” 

“Hajime’s fine, you know! ‘Nakamura-san’ sounds so stiff, makes me feel like an old man…” He laughed, and Kenzaki lowered his head again, closing the door a tad more so he could wrap the towel around his waist. 

He didn’t particularly want to call Nakamura by his first name…

“Right. So, I was wondering…” Ugh, when had asking for simple, basic things become so difficult? He held the borrowed clothes under both arms, looking down to his own dirty clothes that lay in a heap in the corner. Looking at them now, they really were filthy. Nakamura, seeming to understand what he was saying without words, gave a nod. 

“Of course. How could I let you leave wearing the same dirty clothes you came in? Here, hand them over.” Kenzaki’s eyes grew wide and he shook his head. 

“No, I can--”

“My washing machine is old, you don’t want to try messing with it. Trust me.” His arm wiggled through the doorway, and Kenzaki bit his bottom lip before finally, he scooped up his dirty clothes from the floor and handed them over, mumbling a small apology for the inconvenience of it all. Nakamura’s arm pulled back.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Go ahead and get yourself comfortable, it’s getting late.” Kenzaki heard his footsteps disappear down the hall again, and Kenzaki was alone once more. 

As he began to get dressed, however, he noticed one little thing; All Kenzaki had been handed were the shorts and t-shirt. 

Well… he wasn’t going to ask for anything more. 

Nakamura had already done so much, Kenzaki couldn’t put it into words how appreciative he was. 

Kenzaki pulled the shorts on. They were a little tight around his rear, but that was to be expected from their size difference. At least the shirt seemed to fight fine; It was baggy around his chest and hung just past his thighs, an inch or two above where the shorts cut off. 

Laying the towel over his neck to catch any stray droplets of water, Kenzaki finally left the steamy room, walking as lightly as possible. Strangely, all that relaxation had only made him tired. 

He peered into the bedroom for a moment, before heading down the hall towards the couch he had spotted in the living room to take a seat, waiting in silence until Nakamura had returned. It wasn’t long before he did, walking past Kenzaki, only to stop and look back down to him. 

“Eh? You’re gonna sleep out here? I don’t know if my couch is going to be that comfortable… You’re welcome to stay in my room again, if you want.” He offered, smiling. 

Kenzaki stared, and physically willed the already forming blush on his cheeks to die down so he could feel just slightly normal, for once. 

“I couldn’t.. I’m already intruding so much as it is, Nakamura-san…”

“Hajme.” He smiled, and Kenzaki looked down. 

No, he still didn’t want to address Nakamura by his first name. It felt too…

Hajime’s tan face flickered through his mind, lips split into a relaxed smile. 

How was Hajime, now? Had he been able to fit into society? Was he living peacefully with Amane and Haruka? 

Sad bitterness began to claw at Kenzaki from within, but no matter what, if he had to take the same path again, he would. No matter how painful or cold or lonely Kenzaki was, if it was for Hajime, he would do it all again and again and again. 

Only, Kenzaki wished he could see Hajime’s face. 

Hear his voice. 

See his smile. 

If only once. 

“Kenzaki-kun?” Kenzaki looked up, his train of thought broken as Nakamura called his name. 

“Uh..?” Rather than answer, Kenzaki made the stupidest noise that sounded vaguely like a question.

“You okay? You’re not sick are you?” Nakamura reached out, putting a hand to his forehead as though to check his temperature. 

“You’re so cold…” Nakamura frowned, and Kenzaki stood up, swallowing nervously as he put some space between them. 

“I feel fine. Honestly, sorry, I just… I was thinking about something.” He averted his eyes for a moment, wishing he had stayed in the bathroom. Nakamura watched him quietly, a concerned expression on his face. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable to share a bed with another person, I can take the couch. Really, I want you to be able to get some rest. We should probably take you to the hospital tomorrow to get checked out…” Kenzaki felt his heart nearly jump into his throat and he quickly shook his head.

“No, I’m fine! Really, it’s fine… I--” He couldn’t just  _ take _ Nakamura’s bed, though. Kenzaki felt like he was overflowing with anxiety, now. Should he just leave? 

But his jacket and belt were in the kitchen, and his clothes were being cleaned… 

He closed his eyes, the little voice in the back of his head telling him he could probably make this all stop if he just tore Nakamura’s head from his body and called it a day. The house would be his, too, and he could finally get some rest.

_ No! _

Kenzaki couldn’t, he refused. Especially not after Nakamura had done so much for him, how could he even let those thoughts be heard? 

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Nakamura’s voice broke Kenzaki out of his thoughts again, and he felt a warm hand take his and squeeze, before he found himself being tugged gently towards the hall, to Nakamura’s bedroom. Kenzaki followed, exhaustion and self disgust weighing heavy on him. Perhaps he should just shut up and stop making excuses and let Nakamura be nice. 

Kenzaki gave into the suggestion, letting Nakamura sit him down on the bed. The sheets had been replaced, the previous white cotton set having been exchanged for red satin. 

He stared down to the floor, listening as Nakamura walked around the room and then came to stand in front of him again. 

“If you insist, we won't go to the hospital… but I really want you to rest, okay? I won't ask why you were out in the middle of nowhere like you were, so don’t worry. I just don’t want to find you passed out on the ground again, you know?” Kenzaki felt a hand to his head, and then Nakamura was gone. 

It was strange, though… To have someone be so nice to him and not ask for anything in return. Kenzaki slowly raised his legs and climbed under the sheets, feeling his muscles start to relax against the cool, silky sheets. As his head hit the pillow, he recalled how Hajime had also questioned his intentions when they first started to truly get to know one another. 

Had Hajime also felt undeserving of kindness? 

Kenzaki closed his eyes as his head hit the pillow, memories of the time he had first taken care of an injured Hajime fresh on his mind.

Then, sleep came.

Kenzaki dreamt about Jacaranda. It was a dream he had often; Kotarou making some kind of feast, and everyone was there to have fun and relax with one another. Kenzaki would always be seated between Hajme and Sakuya, and Shiori would be playing some pop music on the jukebox in the corner. Sometimes, Kenzaki and Hajime would wind up taking a break from the party and retreating downstairs towards his bedroom, where they would exchange a few words, make physical contact, and then-- 

Kenzaki’s eyes snapped open and he shot up, body tingling and abdomen strangely warm. He glanced down, peeling back the fine sheets and grimaced. Of all the places to be hard, a stranger's bed? Kenzaki felt himself flush with shame. 

It certainly didn’t help that the shorts he was wearing were so…

Tight. 

Especially now. 

Kenzaki continued to hold the blanket, unsure of what to, when suddenly the bedroom door opened.

“Kenzaki-kun I made breakfa-- Eh?” Kenzaki made an uncharacteristic squeak and slammed the blankets back down, rolling over his back was to the door. 

“Y-yeah?” This was embarrassing. What if Nakamura had seen? No, there’s no way he could have seen, the blankets were too thick. Okay, but Kenzaki’s reaction made it obvious that he had a boner in Nakamura’s bed. 

“I made breakfast. You okay?” Nakamura questioned. 

“Mm-hm!” Great. Just great. Kenzaki forced himself to breath out calmly. It was normal and they were both men. How many times had Koutarou walked in on him rubbing one out in the attic, or vice versa? It was awkward as hell and they never talked about it, but it was normal. 

Right? 

“Okay… Well, come on then. it’ll get cold.” Nakamura disappeared, and Kenzaki found himself staring out the window as he waited for himself to  _ deflate. _

From what he could see, it wasn’t too late in the morning. It was cloudy, though. Was it going to rain? Kenzaki frowned, slowly sitting up. At least the shit he was wearing would help hide him, and there was always the table.

After a few more minutes, Kenzaki finally made his way out to the kitchen, blinking down at the modest meal that had been set out; Eggs over toast with bacon, some pancakes, a glass of water, and a glass of some kind of juice Kenzaki wasn’t familiar with. Nakamura was putting a pitcher of syrup in the middle of the table when Kenzaki entered. He looked up, eyes sparkling a little as he saw Kenzaki.

“Morning! Sorry if I got carried away, I’m not used to guests.” Kenzaki swallowed, feeling his mouth water a little. All he had eaten the day before was the rice porridge, and before that had been… well, nothing noteworthy. 

He liked to joke with himself about eating pine cones,  _ but… _

“You.. you didn’t need to…” Make all this. Kenzaki slowly slid down into one of the chairs, cheeks warm. Everything looked so delicious; The egg yolks were golden, the pancakes were fluffy.. 

Even the mysterious juice smelled good, the closer he got. 

“I guess I figured you’d be hungry. Go on, there’s still plenty more.” Nakamura took a seat on the opposite side of Kenzaki and began to eat. Kenzaki continued to stare at the meal, struggling not to let himself be overcome by how nice it all was.

Slowly, he took up a fork and prodded one of the egg yolks. It broke easily, sending a small river of gold across the plain of lightly peppered white, and then down to the crispy bed of toast beneath. Then, Kenzaki devoured everything in front of him within minutes. 

He was on his fifth pancake by the time he started to feel full. 

Nakamura was collecting the plates and bringing them to the sink when it occurred to Kenzaki that he wasn’t sick, nor was he incapable of moving. He hopped up and reached out, taking the stack of plates from Nakamura with a small smile.

“I can clean them!” He slipped around the shorter male and stopped in front of the sink, glancing back to the mess of used dishes on the stove and counter. 

“Eh? Are you sure? You can go back and rest, you know..” Kenzaki shook his head, plugging the sink up as he turned the faucet on.

“I’m fine. Also, wouldn’t it be rude if I let you do all the work?” He poured some dish soap under the running faucet, watching as a mass of bubbles began to form. Kenzaki smiled to himself, taking in the scent of fresh balsam as the bubbles quickly overtook the sink. He was used to doing dishes, anyway. It reminded him of home. 

… His old home, at least. 

Kenzaki didn’t have a home now. He hadn’t for a while. 

He began to lower dishes into the sink and took up a sponge, hands both occupied and quickly coated with soapy bubbles. He was preoccupied with the task at hand; So much, in fact, he didn’t register the presence behind him until he felt something brush past his rear. Kenzaki froze. 

“Here, I almost forgot this.” Nakamura was close, his arm almost completely around Kenzaki as he set a cup down on the counter top next to the sink. 

Oh…

Kenzaki stared at it, and crammed his thoughts down, giving a small nod. 

There’s no way Nakamura would do something so crass. He turned his head and looked down, smiling slightly. 

“Thank you, Nakamura-san.” He reached out for the cup and began to clean it. Nakamura raised a hand to Kenzaki’s shoulder and squeezed. 

“Hajime.” Kenzaki went still again, forcing himself to look over. 

“Eh…?”

“I keep saying, you can use my name you know.” Nakamura was still close, his hand still resting on Kenzaki’s shoulder. Somehow, Kenzaki felt..

Cornered. 

“I..”

“Unless.. There’s a reason?” He tilted his head to the side a little, eyes pinning Kenzaki in place. Kenzaki felt something cold wash over him, and he shook his head, forcing another small smile on his lips to distract from the nervousness he was feeling. This was ridiculous, it was just a name. 

“No! .. Hajime...san. It’s fine. Thank you.” Kenzaki had to force the name from his throat, as though it had been stuck. Nakamura continued to watch him, expression unreadable. Then, a grin split across his lips and he gave Kenzaki a gentle shake before he pulled away, laughing. 

“See, that wasn’t too difficult, was it?” He turned, exiting the kitchen, and Kenzaki found he was still frozen in place. 

“Oh, Kenzaki-kun?” Nakamura called out from the living room, suddenly. Kenzaki turned his head in the other direction, swallowing back the rise of uncertainty and wariness.

“Y-yeah?”

“So.. I think my dryer is busted. I went to check on your clothes last night, and they were still soaked from the wash cycle.” Kenzaki stared into the living room. Nakamura had taken a seat on the couch, a magazine in one hand. He opened it and began to flip through it, as though it weren’t a problem that Kenzaki had no clothes until they managed to dry.

“Wait, you mean--”

“Sorry.. I put them out to dry, though. Your jacket’s pretty heavy, though. It might take a while.” His tone, while apologetic, didn’t exactly come off as genuine. Kenzaki ignored it and frowned, looking back down to the sink.

“I.. I see..” What was he supposed to do, then? Keep leeching off of Nakamura until his clothes dried? Kenzaki had been planning on taking off once he had finished cleaning the dishes. He rolled the cup around in his hands, sponge still working over the glass despite having been cleaned already. 

“Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take more than a few hours! I left your things on the living room table, also.” His things? 

His belt! 

Kenzaki dropped the cup in the sink and dashed to the doorway of the kitchen, his eyes falling to the coffee table. Relief shot through him as he saw both the belt and the card deck sitting there. Nakamura looked up from the magazine, his eyebrows raised. 

“Is something wrong?” Kenzaki slowly shook his head and took a step back, turning to go back to the sink. Soap suds dripped from his hands, and he was vaguely aware he would need to mop them up from the floor, but that would have to come later. 

Of course, not even two hours later, a crack of lightning shot across the sky, followed by rolling thunder and a downpour of rain. 

Directly onto his drying clothes. 

They had managed to grab them, but now his clothes were soaked again and the storms humidity wouldn’t make it easy for them to dry. Kenzaki sat on the couch next to Nakamura, arms crossed as he pondered his next course of action. 

They had been quiet for a while, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. At least, not to Kenzaki. 

“If you’re worried, you’re welcome to stay the night again.” Nakamura said suddenly, not looking up from the book he had been reading. Kenzaki looked up and frowned. 

“Yeah, but…” Wasn’t it an inconvenience? Kenzaki didn’t even have any money to give him. Nakamura just smiled, not raising his eyes from his book. Another crash of thunder echoed throughout the land, and the walls trembled slightly. 

“It’s really not a problem, but if you feel bad, I’m sure I can think of something for you to do tomorrow.” Kenzaki gave a small nod and looked away, staring down at the table again. 

The rest of the day went by uneventful, and Kenzaki soon found himself lying between the silky sheets of Nakamura’s bed again, only this time Nakamura was on the other side. He stared up at the dark ceiling, exhausted, and soon rolled over onto his side, back to Nakamura as he situated himself as close to the edge as possible. 

It was.. Strange. 

He didn’t want to read too much into this experience, but why was Nakamura so..

Helpful?

Was this normal? 

Maybe he really was just some nice, lonely man who lived by himself in the woods and was happy to have company. 

He never put it that way, though… 

But it was nice to have a warm place to sleep, food to eat, and someone to talk to. Despite his anxieties, Kenzai felt relaxed. It had been so, so long since he had let himself relax like this. Perhaps he had just forgotten what it was like to be around other people. 

As Kenzaki was beginning to fall asleep, he felt the bed shift, and suddenly, an arm was wrapping around him from behind. He tensed immediately, an alarm running through his mind, and tried to sit up.

“N-nakamura-san? Wha--” A finger pressed to his lips, and he heard Nakamura whisper quietly beside his ear. 

“ _ Shhh.. _ ” The finger lowered from his lips and Nakamura’s pressed to his chest for a moment, kneading gently against the firm muscle. His fingers brushed past one of Kenzaki’s nipples once or twice, and then his hand was sliding downwards. Kenzaki was frozen in place, mind blank as he tried to place together what was happening. 

Then, Nakamura’s hand was caressing him through his tight, borrowed shorts. Kenzaki jumped, body unintentionally pressing against Nakamura as he tried to push him away. 

“What are you--” He let out a small noise as Nakamura’s fingers slid against Kenzaki’s thigh and under the fabric of the shorts. 

“S-stop…” He finally had the courage to grab Nakamura’s wrist, but it was too late. Small shocks of pleasure were flickering throughout him; He hadn’t touched or been touched in so long, and Nakamura’s hand was so gentle despite… despite…

“Shhh, Kazuma-chan…” Nakamura, fully pressed against Kenzaki, pressed his lips into Kenzaki’s neck and inhaled before he gave a lick. Kenzaki shuddered, his legs twitching as he weakly tried to push Nakamura back. 

“N-n-Nakamu--” Nakamura’s hand was stroking, fingers fondling him from tip to base. It felt so good, Kenzaki couldn’t think straight. He knew he wanted Nakamura to stop touching him, but his mind was growing fuzzy and his words weren’t coming out straight. 

“Shhh, just relax.. I’ll make you feel good, yeah?” No.

Nakamura pressed a kiss next to his ear, his tongue sliding up to the lobe and pulling it into his mouth to nibble at for a moment or two before he went back to kissing at Kenzaki’s neck. Kenzaki moaned, his breathing growing uneven as Nakamura continued to work at his erection. After a few minutes, Kenzaki felt himself coming with a small cry, tears stinging in his eyes because it had been  _ so _ long since he had felt something that wasn’t fear or pain or self loathing, but the pleasure was overshadowed, mingling with the fact that it had been Nakamura to give it to him against his will. He sniffled, feeling himself tugged tight against Nakamura as the man worked him through orgasm, whispering sweet words in his ear about how he was such a good boy, how cute he was and how he wanted to do more but wouldn’t because Kenzaki clearly wasn’t ready, he just wanted to make Kenzaki feel good. 

Kenzaki trembled and let himself be held, because at least it didn’t hurt. 

When he woke up in the morning, he would force himself to forget it had happened and greet Nakamura with a quiet good morning before going to take a shower. His clothes would be folded neatly and sitting out for him when he got out. 

After breakfast, Kenzaki sat on the couch in the living room, his mind blank. 

His jacket wasn’t dry yet, and it was still pouring outside. 

Nakamura said some words that he couldn't quite hear, and Kenzaki was left alone in the living room for a while. 

Hajime…

How was Hajime, right now?

And Tachibana, and Mutsuki? 

Kotarou and Shiori? 

Were they living well? 

Kenzaki felt…

Stuck. 

He missed them so much. 

Kenzaki leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. 

Then, he noticed a bright red rotary phone mounted to the wall, right near the door. He turned his head towards it and stared, incoherent thoughts beginning to form in his mind. 

_ Call Kotarou.  _

_ Call Tachibana, beg him to come get him.  _

Kenzaki would do whatever Tachibana wanted, would bite his tongue off if it meant controlling the impulse to fight Hajime. 

Hajime… 

Kenzaki trembled, and slowly stood, making his way to the phone. 

The number for Jacaranda was still fresh in his mind; He thought about it almost every night before he fell asleep.

Kenzaki was so tired of running. He was tired of being alone, he was tired of hurting. 

He wanted to go home. 

_ He wanted to go home.  _

He couldn’t do this anymore!

The running around, the loneliness, the strangers who--

Kenzaki put his finger into the little notch and began to push the clear plastic ring around the circle, dialing the number to Jacaranda. 

Each number was heavy. 

Kenzaki felt his heart hammering in his chest.

After releasing the ring, he lifted the receiver and held it to his ear, listening to the line as it began to ring. 

It gave three rings before the line was picked up. 

“Jacaranda; This is Aikawa speaking.” Hajime’s voice, deep and soft, like velvet, penetrated Kenzaki’s mind, and he nearly dropped the phone. 

He stayed silent. 

“Hello?”

Memories of his last meeting with Hajime began to resurface in Kenzaki’s mind, thoughts of how this had all been for Hajime to begin with. 

All for Hajime…

“... Kenzaki?” Kenzaki heard his name come from Hajime, quiet, but not nearly a whisper, and Kenzaki panicked, slamming the phone down on the hook. 

It was too much for him to take. 

Kenzaki closed his eyes, his hand still wrapped around the receiver. 

Tremors began to run throughout his body. He nearly let himself cry right then and there in the living room, when suddenly Nakamura’s voice broke him out of the spell of misery he had fallen into.

“What are you doing?” Kenzaki raised his head, surprised, and turned around. 

“Nakamura-san..” The receiver was cold in his hand. He had been a coward, but Hajime didn’t need this kind of stress in his life.

It was better they never spoke to one another. 

Kenzaki wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 

“I said, what are you doing?” Nakamura frowned, making his way over to where Kenzaki stood. Kenzaki averted his eyes, feeling strangely like a child that was about to be scolded. 

“I.. I was just..” Before he could say anything else, Nakamura’s hand shot out and snatched up his wrist, pulling his hand from the receiver. 

“Don’t touch that. And I keep telling you, you can use my first name!” Kenzaki was yanked away from the phone, hard. Unprepared, he stumbled after Nakamura, confused. 

“T-- H-hajime-san, then, what’s wrong??” He tried to pull his arm free, but the angle was weird, and he found himself being pushed into one of the chairs in the kitchen. 

“Who were you talking to?” Kenzaki looked up to Nakamura, brows furrowing as Nakamura stood over him. 

“.. No one. I didn’t--”

“ _ Don’t _ lie to me. Who did you talk to?” 

“Wait, why are you so angry?” Kenzaki didn’t understand. Hadn’t Nakamura been worried that he was out alone in the wilderness? Why would he be angry if Kenzaki made a phone call to someone that could potentially help him get home?

“Just tell me who you were calling!” Kenzaki reeled back a bit, shocked that Nakamura was actually  _ yelling _ at him. He scowled, beginning to feel defensive. 

What the hell? 

“Does it matter?! Why do you care so much?” He leaned up, about to stand so he could feel less like a cornered child, but then he was struck. 

Kenzaki stared, his mind empty once again. 

Had…

Did Nakamura just  _ hit _ him..? 

Kenzaki raised a hand to his face, still in shock. The skin felt raised and warm from the impact of Nakamura’s open palm on his cheek. Nakamura continued to glare down at him for several seconds before surprise suddenly took his features and he leaned over, reaching out for Kenzaki.

Kenzaki flinched away, but his back was against the chair he sat in and he had no way to keep Nakamura’s hands from closing around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry..!! Shit, I’m so sorry, Kazuma-kun…” Kenzaki swallowed, trying to ignore how frightened he felt. He had fought monsters, so--

“I-i..” Kenzaki didn’t know what to say, so he just gave a small nod, still in shock. He couldn’t even protest when Nakamura was pulling him into a hug. It was way too sudden, way too intrusive, especially after what he had just done. He could feel the vibration of Nakamura talking, but once again couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. 

This was…

This was bad, wasn’t it? 

But Nakamura was finally pulling away and turning into the kitchen, talking about getting dinner started for them. 

When had this turned into a thing? 

Had Nakamura misunderstood something? 

Kenzaki decided he shouldn’t stay there any longer. He slowly stood, checking the progress of his coat where it was hanging. It was still pretty damp, it would weigh him down if he left now. 

Dinner passed by in awkward silence with Nakamura trying to start conversation or talk about what he was writing for the novel he was working on. Kenzaki could only reply with halfhearted responses, the trust and safety he had been allowing himself to indulge in gone, replaced by cold anxiety and wariness. He couldn’t even let himself pretend that the previous night hadn’t happened anymore, it was all too much. 

When it came time for sleep, Kenzaki tried to insist he sleep on the couch under the guise of having more space to stretch out, but Nakamura wouldn’t hear of it. Too tired to fight him on it, Kenzaki once again found himself laying in the bed, Nakamura on the other side supposedly asleep. It took a while, but Kenzaki finally managed to make himself relax enough to where he could feel himself falling asleep. 

It was peaceful and quiet, but something felt wrong. 

In his dream, rather than the usual soft words and kisses they would exchange, Hajime simply stared at him, eyes cold. Kenzaki found himself being shoved down onto Hajime’s single bed and Hajime was over him, hands rough and lips sloppy. Kenzaki didn’t like it, and began to struggle, confused, but his vocal chords didn’t work. 

Why was Hajime not listening? 

Why was Hajime--

Kenzaki was woken up as he felt a moan forced from his mouth. There was a pressure on him, and something went was trailing across his chest. He shifted, sleeping reaching up before he found his wrist snagged up and pinned down. 

“Shh, Kazuma-chan, it’s okay. Go back to sleep, okay?” Hajime…?

No, that wasn’t Hajime’s voice, but it was familiar. Hajime would never talk to him like that, and besides, he shouldn’t be near Hajime anyway...

As the fog of sleep began to lift, Kenzaki felt himself make another small noise as something licked and sucked at his chest, tongue swirling around one of his nipples with a nip here and there. 

“Nn.. N-naka--” Panic flashed through him. 

No. 

No matter  _ how _ kind Nakamura had been to him, Kenzaki wasn’t going to allow Nakamura to just have his way! He hadn’t even  _ asked _ . 

Kenzaki began to shove his arms forward, both were pinned against the headboard above his head. He wriggled, slamming one of his feet down on the mattress. 

“Get off! Get  _ off _ of me!” Kenzaki’s shirt had been bunched up by his neck, leaving his chest and stomach exposed. In the darkness he could make out a few wet trails of saliva here and there, and he recoiled physically as he tried to get Nakamura off without actually hurting him. He was only human, after all.

“Calm down, calm down! Shh, it’ll be okay, I’ll make you feel good, yeah? Be a good boy, Kazuma-chan.. You said you wanted to repay me, didn’t you? This is the best way you can help out.” Nakamura’s hands squeezed around his wrists and he suddenly launched himself forward, lips hungrily overtaking Kenzaki’s, tongue and all. Kenzaki struggled against him, his superior inhuman strength easily freeing his arms. Kenzaki shoved Nakamura away, about to get up when Nakamura growled, throwing himself against Kenzaki again. 

“Fuck, just  _ stay  _ still!” Kenzaki was caught off guard as two hands closed around his neck, and Nakamura began to squeeze. His hands flew to Nakamura’s wrists and he tried to pull them off, his breath halted. 

Their actions were a whirlwind around him, and no matter what, Kenzaki didn’t want to harm him, but he wasn’t about to let Nakamura do this to him. 

The hands continued to squeeze, as though trying to choke the life out of him, and when Kenzaki felt the room beginning to spin around him, Nakamura released his throat and began to tear at his clothes. Kenzaki coughed as air began to flood back into his lungs, vaguely aware that he was beginning to lose the fight. 

“Stop! Get off of me, get  _ off _ !!” He was about to use his strength against Nakamura again when his wrist was grabbed and Nakamura was on him, fist colliding with Kenzaki’s face. Kenzaki felt his head crash into the wood behind and he gasped in pain. Nakamura kept it up, though, his knuckles smashing into Kenzaki’s mouth, nose, cheek, wherever his fist managed to land. 

“Fuck!! Why couldn’t you just fucking behave?! Did you honestly think you could just take off without giving anything in-- What the fuck?” Kenzaki coughed, his head falling forward limping. Was his nose broken? 

He could feel blood dripping down his mouth and chin. 

His face was roughly grabbed by Nakamura, raised up, and the bedside table was flipped on. 

“T-this.. What the  _ fuck _ is this?!” That’s right, Kenzaki was… bleeding. 

Nakamura was just a normal person. 

There was no way he could know about Undead, or Jokers, or Kamen Riders, and now his knuckle was covered with flecks of vibrant green that had oozed from Kenzaki’s nose and mouth. 

Kenzaki used this as a chance to act and shoved with all his might, effectively knocking Nakamura off the bed. The other man yelped in surprise as he hit the floor, but Kenzaki didn’t stop to check if he had damaged anything. He raced from the bedroom, yanking his coat from the coat rack, stopping only to turn back and grab his belt and deck. 

“Wait! Fuck, Kazuma,  _ wait!”  _ Kenzaki felt his heart racing with terror and shoved them in his pockets, not stopping for any of the coins or other stuff that had been left on the table before he fled through the front door and into the pouring rain, Nakamura’s voice yelling after him. 

As Kenzaki ran, he willed himself to forget the feeling of gravel and twigs slicing into his feet. He kept going, not stopping for even a second to look back or listen if Nakamura had ran after him. 

He didn’t know where he was or what time it was when he had finally slowed down, but the rain had stopped and the sun was beginning to rise. 

When Kenzaki had finally made it out of the patch of forest he had been running through, the sun was slightly higher in the sky. His feet were sore, but there was little to do about that. 

The event with Nakamura was still fresh in his mind, as though he had just run from the house minutes ago. He wanted to turn around and see if Nakamura had followed, but he knew that was ridiculous and forced himself to just keep looking ahead. He walked in silence, minding his own business when a car pulled up beside him. He stopped, making sure to keep his distance despite the owners of the car being a little old man and woman who sat side by side in the front. The window rolled down.

“Are you lost?” The old man leaned out a little and Kenzaki shook his head, forcing himself to smile. The old woman leaned close to her husband, eyeing him with concern. 

“I’m fine! I have a camp nearby, I just went the wrong way… You know how it is.” He jabbed his thumb back towards the trees. The couple didn’t seem convinced, but they exchanged a look and gave a nod regardless.

“Okay, young man. Be careful on your way back.” Kenzaki smiled again, feeling exhausted. 

“Thank you.” 

They drove off and he waved after them, trying to appear happy. Whether it was for them or himself, though, he wasn’t sure. 

As the car disappeared into the distance, Kenzaki began to walk again. He wasn’t sure where to, but that had never stopped him before. 

While he walked, he couldn’t help but imagine Hajime’s smile. 

He didn’t need company or the help of others, he decided. 

Kenzaki would be fine on his own.

Kenzaki would fight this burden by himself.


End file.
